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It's cold in New York so what better flick to watch and write about for Stacie
Ponder's Final Girl Film Club? O
Frozen. I'll try to avoid "cold" puns throughout this review... but it's so tempting.
Frozen is pretty thin ice. Three dimwitted friends decide to get one last ski run in before closing time and end up stuck on the lift. They panic a little and conversation ensues about "the worst way to die" including an awkward reference to September 11
th. Soon enough, just when you would say to yourself "I would just jump off that piece,"
Kevin Zegers decides to jump, but unfortunately, feet first. Wolves come out of the woods. And that's about an hour in, with 30 odd minutes to go. So we have to watch
Emma Bell weep about her little dog, pry her icy grip from a metal bar, pee her snow pants, and ask her comrade (
Shawn Ashmore) why he doesn't have a girlfriend. The remaining time consists of more climbing across creaky cables, landscape shots, heavy breathing, growling wolves, and a lackluster conclusion. Shrewdly marketed as horror (and featuring a small cameo by
Kane Hodder),
Frozen is less (much less)
Jaws on the slopes, more ultra lite
127 Hours. I guess the filmmakers deserve credit for attempting to make a good-looking thriller on such a tiny scale. *
-Jeffery Berg